Gardening in the Apocalypse

Bunnies and humans are a greater threat than zombies

Here in Texas we are finishing another week of 100 plus degree temperatures. So far the tropical plants – the hibiscus, okra, wax mallow, and the Rose of Sharon – are thriving. But not all plants, nor all humans, are designed to survive in a climate akin to a blast furnace. While the mallow gang laugh at August, my tomatoes have wilted, the peppers gave up their blooms, and the vining plants dried up and crumbled off their stakes. Somehow the asparagus continues to force out new sprouts. I planted the roots two years ago, so next year will be the year of spears. The ferns have overgrown their little patch, hanging over the sidewalk so they brush against me when I wander past. I can’t resist running my hands through the soft tops and whispering to them, “Soon.”

Right after the asparagus began shooting up spears, I noticed that overnight the plants would disappear. Rabbits, I discovered, like the taste of fresh asparagus. The greater insult in this was that I could not yet harvest the spears for my own meals. Our solution was to install a short fence around the plot. Not so tall that I couldn’t reach over it, but tall enough that the bunnies could not. Eventually I enclosed most of my plants in some sort of fence. It has given me a new respect for the battle between Farmer McGregor and Peter Rabbit.

My parents always had a small garden and our summers were filled with fresh vegetables. My main motivation for growing my own food has always been an appreciation for the taste of home grown tomatoes and okra. The restful meditation that comes from working with plants is a much enjoyed side benefit.

Like many people, I felt an extra urgency to produce my own food during the Covid lockdowns, when we dealt with shortages. Back then, I remember trying to order seeds online and coming up empty with each click. Mostly I grew radishes and hot peppers on our apartment balcony, not exactly enough to sustain two grown adults. Since buying our house two years ago, I’ve expanded to large pots, grow bags, and some space in our flower beds. The dry Texas summer has turned our front lawn to brown straw, and I believe I am close to convincing Andrew to till it all under and plant corn.

One of the scariest movies I ever watched was Interstellar. It wasn’t marketed as horror, but science fiction. The plot revolved around a team of scientists who were searching for alternate planets that would support life, since earth had undergone so much ecological damage that world wide famine had resulted. This was a little too close to reality. I love horror, but I’d rather watch and read stories about zombies, demonic serial killers, and haunted houses. In those cases, I can close the book, exit the theater, turn off the television and reassure myself that those things are safely secured away from my own world. However, I only have to step outside in the blazing summer heat to imagine global ecological destruction. In that case, I always think of George Carlin’s words – “The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed.”

While we wait for the ecological apocalypse, the black-eyed peas and sweet potatoes thrive in their pots and don’t seem to mind the heat. Bunnies are not welcome in the garden. Birds and squirrels are okay, because they occasionally do their own cultivating – like the sunflowers that sprout around the bird feeder or the peanut plant that emerged from a flower pot of peas. It’s all good because my favorite color is green.