Author Archives: mstturpin

About mstturpin

Writer of humorous personal essays. Do I mind bubbles in my wine? I don't even mind if my wine has a pop top.

Don’t Fence Me In Wichita Falls

My fiance, Andrew, loves Wichita Falls. We drove up there this weekend and he pitched an earnest plea for us to buy his childhood home. Besides the lack of a down payment, I was not swayed by the quaint architecture … Continue reading

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Why is Facebook Trying to Sell Me Funeral Potatoes?

This showed up in my Facebook feed the other night. Of course I clicked on the link and checked them out on the Walmart website. The back of the package states “Potatoes to die for” but I hope they don’t … Continue reading

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Just Where We Belong

  I hesitated when I saw the invitation in my email because I am not a fan of scary movies. I tolerate them because they are one of Andrew’s favorite genres. When he watches Alien Death Camp Holiday or Haunted … Continue reading

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When We Are Small

    Despite the crying during our last visit, we decided to take our grandson, Will, back to the Heard Museum to see the robotic dinosaur display. I suppose when you are shorter than three feet tall anything larger than … Continue reading

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Always the Last Place You Look

I spent a good part of the morning on Christmas Eve searching our apartment for a book. The missing book was a collection of fairy tales that I received for Christmas in 1968, when I was eight years old. The … Continue reading

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A Certain Understanding

Only a complete troll would abandon a loved one who had cancer or who needed one of your kidneys, but it takes a strong commitment to pass the Kleenex to the woman who just sneezed on you. Show me someone … Continue reading

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Join Hands, Give Thanks

I lived through two decades before I discovered that there were people in the world who made dressing with stale bread cubes instead of fresh cornbread. My oldest sister’s second husband, the nice one, was from somewhere up North, New … Continue reading

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