You Can Lead a Pill Bug to Water…

But You Can’t Make Them Do Much Else. Photo by Terrye Turpin I’d been thinking about adopting a cat. I wanted a soft, purring companion, one that wouldn’t demand I hand over the remote as they snuggled up next to me on the couch. My vision didn’t include dumping out the litter box. Despite numerous calculations, … Continue reading You Can Lead a Pill Bug to Water…

Cold Feet Warm Socks

A trail suitable for walking — Photo by Terrye TurpinUntil I met Andrew, the man who would eventually become my husband, I was blissfully unaware that there were socks designed for specific activities. I purchased my socks in bulk and in solid colors that eliminated the need to make sure I had on a matching pair. When I … Continue reading Cold Feet Warm Socks

The God of Poop

The Dublin Bottling Works — Home of the original Dr. Pepper and definitely not a clear liquid. (Photo by Terrye Turpin)At my last physical my doctor mentioned it had been five years since I had a colonoscopy. “That long, huh? Gee doc, the whole experience was so pleasant it seems like only yesterday.” Every time I light a … Continue reading The God of Poop

You Don’t Have to Step on My Feet

As part of a pledge to try new things, I signed up for a night of dance lessons, and for good measure I talked my friend Kristy into accompanying me. Kristy was in her early 30’s, and still young enough to be excused for a lapse in judgement, but I was old enough to know … Continue reading You Don’t Have to Step on My Feet

I Can’t See You Because the Light is On

SourceDear Gables Residential Services: Thank you for installing the security light across the courtyard from my apartment. I feel so much more safe now, especially when I get up in the night to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. The 1 million candle watt bulb you placed in the device illuminates … Continue reading I Can’t See You Because the Light is On

Instructions for Withholding Under the New Tax Plan

Disclaimer — these are not actual instructions and I have no connection with the IRS Photo by rawpixel.com on UnsplashPersonal Allowances Worksheet A. Enter “1” if you’re single unless you are signed up under more than one dating app. In that case, divide the number of actual dates you’ve been on in the last month by 100 and … Continue reading Instructions for Withholding Under the New Tax Plan

The Personal Touch

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash Before my divorce, I hadn’t thought much about underwear, other than the need to replace it if the elastic no longer held up or if the underwire in my bra decided to turn homicidal. I did stumble into buying something from one of those specialty stores, and to my surprise … Continue reading The Personal Touch

Password Questions I Might Remember

Who comes up with those password security questions? I recently had to update the ones on my bank account, and I had a devil of a time finding five that I knew the answer to. Really, questions about the middle name of my oldest female cousin on my father’s side? Does anyone ever answer that … Continue reading Password Questions I Might Remember