Password Questions I Might Remember


Who comes up with those password security questions? I recently had to update the ones on my bank account, and I had a devil of a time finding five that I knew the answer to. Really, questions about the middle name of my oldest female cousin on my father’s side? Does anyone ever answer that question? (Not counting people whose hobbies include genealogy; or the members of the Church of Latter Day Saints).

The original questions were bad enough; I could never answer the one about my favorite ice cream because there wasn’t enough room to write “Whatever is in the freezer right now.”

I can’t possibly pick a favorite color. Won’t the other colors feel left out? Does anyone ever pick grey?

I have trouble remembering where I was last week, let alone where I spent New Year’s Eve 1999. Just because Prince wrote a song about it doesn’t necessarily mean most of us will remember what we were doing that evening, unless you were arrested and spent the night in jail.

And the question about my first prom date? What if I didn’t ever go to prom? I never expected my financial institution to bring up unpleasant memories of teenage angst. These questions seem to belong to some bizarre trivia challenge designed to point out my failings in personal relationships.

If you really are bent on selecting questions that would be difficult for a hacker to guess the answers, I would like to suggest including the following five questions:

1. What is your favorite spider?

2. If you were in a Starbucks and they were out of the Venti Caramel Macchiato with soy milk, what would you order instead?

3. If you were invisible, where would you be most likely to walk around naked?

4. Which zoo animal can you most closely impersonate? (Do not pick lion, anyone can produce a passable “Roar!”).

5. What color underwear were you wearing on Super Bowl Sunday, 2001?

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments. By the way, my favorite spider is the Bird Dropping Spider (Celaenia excavata).

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